I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
