Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
foreskin is a definite game changer
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize