people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
