Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
