my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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