I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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