It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
