I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize