Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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