i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
