I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
