i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize