Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
