hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there