hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
