I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake