i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off