Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.

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(850): View more from Florida

Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(212): View more from New York

You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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(209): View more from California

Responsibility does not care about your dick.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

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(858): View more from California

The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I need to calm my uterus...

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