DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.