Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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  (405): I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/pkl3
  Replies (20) Good night (5876) Bad night (574)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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  (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80
  Replies (6) Good night (4987) Bad night (540)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him

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  (480): he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/q5w1
  Replies (60) Good night (6436) Bad night (950)
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  (562): View more from California

  We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

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  (562): We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went. http://tfl.nu/2aw8
  Replies (25) Good night (5316) Bad night (1190)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.

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  (720): This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread. http://tfl.nu/5lzr
  Replies (33) Good night (6089) Bad night (1884)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on

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  (774): Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on http://tfl.nu/movk
  Replies (5) Good night (2239) Bad night (691)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.

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  (860): could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper. http://tfl.nu/svv9
  Replies (12) Good night (1253) Bad night (2562)
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  (760): View more from California

  Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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  (760): Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t. http://tfl.nu/80lo
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (469)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.

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  (610): you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away. http://tfl.nu/v47s
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (716)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".

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  (301): He said it. He actually said "yes it's in". http://tfl.nu/w699
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (2091)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...

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  (850): I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away... http://tfl.nu/luji
  Replies (3) Good night (1259) Bad night (343)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest

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  (615): I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest http://tfl.nu/qz1n
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

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  (732): For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love http://tfl.nu/5u72
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.

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  (404): As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection. http://tfl.nu/m3hm
  Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (157)

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