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• (407): View more from Florida

  I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (646): View more from New York

  its my first week of college and i have a UTI

  (718): View more from New York

  not easy being a whore now is it

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• (707): View more from California

  Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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• (909): View more from California

  I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.

  (1-909): View more from California

  Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...

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• (646): View more from New York

  Is 1:30 too early for the bar?

  (718): View more from New York

  Do you want my opinion or society's?

  (646): View more from New York

  I want your company

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh dear. Sending much love.

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  Just send a machete.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake

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