We won't sleep together?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She bit a glass in half.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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