remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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