I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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