I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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