I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
