what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
