Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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