I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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