i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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