Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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