she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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