One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
