But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
