Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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