He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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