i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
