he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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