The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
