I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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