I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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