I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
my liver is dry heaving
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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