Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
