I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
