Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
