i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i've created a new STD.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
