the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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