Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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