I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
