I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
jump out the window naked night went bad
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