moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
