She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
