I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize