This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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