Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
