well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
