before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
