Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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