K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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