why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
