Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
