He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dicks are not precious.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
