She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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